After marrying her husband, she left the familiar surroundings of Kowloon and moved to a remote village at the foothills of Tai Mo Shan. There was no direct public transportation to the area, and every trip to the urban district required a slow journey along winding mountain roads. Like many women, she believed that marriage meant building a family and caring for her loved ones, and that such devotion was the most important value in life. She poured her youth, time and energy into her family, little by little, while gradually placing her own needs last. For many years, she quietly shouldered the responsibilities of caring for her household, protecting her family through every storm. The grievances and struggles that no one saw eventually became condensed into a simple phrase: “I'm used to it.”
As the years passed, her husband’s physical health and cognitive abilities gradually deteriorated, and she slowly became a full-time carer. From the moment she opened her eyes each day, her life revolved around him. From preparing meals and managing daily routines to arranging medical appointments, monitoring emotional changes and attending to his physical condition, every detail demanded her constant attention. The confusion and anxiety caused by dementia often left her husband crying, wandering and feeling unsettled in the middle of the night, while she could do little more than comfort and reassure him time and again. Years of sleep deprivation and constant mental strain gradually narrowed her world and weakened her connection with herself.
Outside the window stretched the rolling green hills at the foothills of Tai Mo Shan. Through the changing seasons, the scenery remained as beautiful as ever. Yet no matter how vast the mountains appeared, they could not fill the loneliness and exhaustion she felt inside. As she grew older, the frequent journeys to and from the urban district became increasingly difficult to manage. Even after hiring a foreign domestic helper to share some of the caring responsibilities, she realised that years of caring had already permeated every corner of her life.
She began to forget what she liked.
She forgot the places she once loved to visit. She forgot the things that once brought her joy. She even forgot what she had been like before caring became the centre of her life. Sometimes, she simply wandered aimlessly through the streets of Tai Po. Surrounded by the bustle of pedestrians and traffic, she found herself unsure of where she wanted to go—or even where she could go.
Then, through a chance referral, the Tai Po Hidden Carers Support and Home Based Respite Project entered her life.
Following an assessment, the Project arranged home-based respite services for her. By providing in-home support and care for her husband, the service helped overcome the limitations imposed by her remote location, allowing her to temporarily lay down the burden she had carried for so long and reclaim moments of time that truly belonged to herself. At the same time, Project staff encouraged her to participate in the Carer Café and activities at Carer Hygge HOME, helping her rebuild her connection with the community. Volunteer companions visited her regularly, offering companionship, listening to her concerns, and sharing community information and resources. Through their support, she came to understand that she was not alone on the long journey of caring.
Through repeated acts of genuine companionship and support, she gradually rediscovered herself. She learned to make time for her own needs, rekindle old interests, rebuild connections with others, and once again experience the joy that life can bring. She realised that even after travelling more than half of life’s journey, there were still new possibilities waiting to be explored. Even while carrying caring responsibilities, she still deserved a life of her own.
Today, she remains a carer, but caring is no longer the only identity that defines her. Before she was a wife, a mother or a carer, she was first and foremost a person with dreams and strength.